Talk Like You Write.

Bring on the Black Cats.

2011-04-23T17:57:00.001-07:00

Superstitions are cute.

I'll succumb to them once in a while - like tossing spilled salt over my shoulder or knocking on wood - and naturally, that shit never works. So I'm going out on a limb here saying that we got this all backwards. Every day this week I'm going to give myself 'bad luck' in a new way, and hopefully make some people twitch uncomfortably because it'll be so unbearable to watch me bestow bad luck upon myself.

#1 : A very common one amongst smokers, the white lighter. Supposed to be tossed out immediately, and I've seen people not take advantage of free ones because they're supposed to be bad luck. I found this baby on my street last night and she's half full. Will carry her around with me all week.

Bring on your cracked mirrors and shit, y'all.

Folk Punk Marathon > Boston Marathon

2011-04-18T14:19:00.000-07:00

While Boston's population temporarily tripled,

super athletic, in-shape individuals were counting calories,

staying hydrated and perfecting their jogging (pronounced YOG-ING),

I was cheerily belting Mischief Brew and doing my first round of epic spring cleaning.

And while having my soapy-handed, jump-around-Youtube ADD, I came across this video that filled me with great joy:

PAT THE BUNNY and ERIK PETERSEN.

Playing. Together.

And New Mexico Song, of all songs.

Holy shit, goosebumps.

It did the job of lifting my spirits on tax day,

(also Patriot's Day, a schoolless holiday that I don't recall ever getting off from in CT.. damn you, CT) and the mix of the two conjured some anarchist feelings that I haven't given any thought to in some time. Toss in some perfect weather and life felt pretty all right.

It's been a little difficult with all the death lately, amongst the daily, tiring tasks like worrying about when the next check is coming, if rent can be paid, where my roommates and I are headed once the lease runs out, and straight up feeding myself day to day. It seems harder and harder to enjoy things I used to frequently.

To get a little cornier for the moment,

I was glad to rediscover that some music really can affect you very positively,

and paired with the right things can brighten you up in less-than-ideal situations.

I even managed to sketch up some lyrics from Mischief Brew's Labor Day Massacre that really stuck in my head.

Take what you can get, break all but your bones.

Chalkboard paint makes every piece of furniture that much cooler.

And yes, as far as Marathon Monday goes,

I didn't exercise or eat anything that was not a caffeinated or a gigantic burrito,

but that's all right.

I got paid to feed them all at City Hall yesterday..

We All Love Poo Jokes Every Now & Then.

2011-01-28T09:41:00.003-08:00

Or, all the time.

Welcome to my kitchen.

Happy Birthday, Mom.

2011-01-16T12:52:00.000-08:00

I'm glad to know my love of fake blood is genetic.

Wish I could be home today.

Testing.

2011-01-04T22:09:00.000-08:00

I guess I'm gonna try out Tumblr out.

Not solely, but on the side.

Mostly for single photogs and other art 'n' design projects 'n' whatnot.

The link for this puppy is thesehours.tumblr.com.

If you have one of these too you should follow me!

And I'll follow your ass right back.

So there.

Thunderblizzard, 2kX.

2010-12-26T20:22:00.001-08:00

I've come back to CT for Christmas, and the weather does not dissapoint.

It's a white out, all right.

A white out that's causing blackouts.

(Back in my hood in Boston, at least.)

It's the most beautiful thing I've seen in a while.

Today I ventured out into it with two dear friends of mine, and we were the only ones outside,

aside from the plow drivers who were few and far between.

It felt almost post-apocalyptic.

Houses looked abandoned, cars were buried,

snowball fights ensued,

and we used the 3 passerby we came across as zombie practice-

only the dodging, mind you.

No decapitation.

For now.

We took a long hike through the woods, which was the most gorgeous part of the whole trip.

It's nearly impossible to describe it accurately.

I brought my camera with me, so hopefully I got a few good shots.

It got pretty wet, but I took care of it quickly so it should be all right.

That camera is pretty damn resilient.

We also made a trip to a nearby elementary schools playground,

tore that shit up to the max.

Falling on your ass in that much snow makes slide-dismounts and swing jump-offs so much better.

There's something very life-affirming about running around the streets and the woods in a blizzard when everyone else is bundled up inside.

A lady walking by told us we were "brave souls,"

but we weren't braving so much as just taking a walk.

The best part about all this snow is that IT'S STILL COMING DOWN,

WITH A VENGANCE.

Some people are reporting thunder, but I haven't heard anything yet.

Just more proof that nature rules.

So the weather advisory states:

"ACCUMULATIONS... 15 TO 20 INCHES... WITH LOCALLY HIGHER AMOUNTS UP TO 2 FEET POSSIBLE."

BRING IT.

Boston Common, June or July.

2010-11-15T13:03:00.000-08:00

My favorite picture of Pat yet.

Scanned in from a negative because I gave the original copy to his dad.
Didn't bother cleaning up the dust or cropping out the extra.
So rugged, but gives it some PattyT charm.

Love you all (maybe).

Gratuitous Candid Picture of Myself and Friend Meredith Watching a Drunk Dude Vom on the T.

2010-10-29T11:56:00.000-07:00

Getting Brisk.

2010-10-20T14:21:00.000-07:00

My momma and her old whip, 4 years before my existence.
Get a baby, lose your hot rod. SORRY, MOM!

Still Shooting.

2010-09-02T11:54:00.000-07:00

The Hill/city have been treating me well.
I have an awesome new apartment with some lovely humans, (Oxford comma)
and I'm constantly surrounded by good people and food.
And good things to snap pixx of.
I finally uploaded a bunch of pictures from the past 6+ months,
which I would've done much sooner if I actually had my own computer
BUT
so it goes.
Here are a few, I hope you enjoy.
Many more to come, and many more on my li'l Flickr account.

Let me know what you think! CRITICISM RULES.

Connecticut.

2010-07-31T18:58:00.001-07:00

I'm back up in it for the moment, and it's been quite all right.

The weather has been gorgeous, I took out the ol' one-pedaled, seat-duct-taped-on Schwinn for old times sake, and I'm preparing my bunny for his relocation to the new crib.

Being home this time, as opposed to pretty much all visits in the past, feels very comforting.

I just feel rull good.
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Friends + BBQs + Family = PRATTY GEWD SUMMAR, M I RITE?

2010-07-21T20:04:00.000-07:00

Sleep is for the weak.

Not for the weak: lifting heavy things.

Thank you.

I Live, I Promise.

2010-07-15T12:14:00.000-07:00

Long story short, I got robbed.
Well, we did.
My boyfriend Pat, one of our roommates and myself.
On Memorial day weekend someone broke into the house while we were all out, Pat and I all the way in New York.

Swiped my laptop, another laptop, an xbox, a few cameras and Pat's backpack to carry it all out of the house.

I decided not to blog about it for a while because one, I had no internet, and
two, everything was still logged into on my laptop and I didn't want to give those fuckers any real-time information about me, because they already had access to enough.

But despite being an entire graphic design portfolio, thousands of photos and 1,300 bucks out (fuck you, Apple!), I've had to move on and start everything over.

I've liked it way better like this, to be honest. Only hopping on here to check what things I can in an hour (such is the library time limit), going on Facebook only to check what messages I have and not being able to even stand to look at my news feed on there.. but I'm probably happiest about having to rebuild [most of'] my photography and design porfolios from the ground up.

I have no more design software, so I'll be doing everything by hand now, except for scanning things in.
And that really, really excites me beyond belief.
I've still got my Rebel, so I'll continue to ravage the city with that thing, and learning how to develop film on my own, finally.

I have a bunch of projects with friends in the works, which I'll post up on here when I can.

But now, I'm off!

Time limit is up.

The Day's Findings.

2010-05-26T18:19:00.000-07:00

So.. it was a million fucking degrees out today,
the humidity was almost Floridian,
and despite what I swore to myself about taking a cold shower and a nap when I get back (I shared very close quarters with hot ovens and a broken AC at work),

I decided to walk and bike around the city aimlessly.

Came across some cool shit though!
And got some exercise!

Yeaaahh! List!

Notable Thing #1: Banksy in Boston.. ?

I've heard rumors and seen pictures of this particular piece, but today I finally came across it in person whilst strolling through Chinatown en route to 90-cent buns. I was equally parts stoked and skeptical, but I really hope it's genuine. Either way, it's pretty awesome. There's another one in Cambridge that I've yet to see, but I'm planning on finding it soon.

Notable Thing #2: The Boston Public Library

I spent a good 2 hours or so soaking up some internets and old art books (and air conditioning) at the BPL. Have you ever seen that building? The inside is fucking gorgeous. How many libraries have their own sexy courtyard?! Srsly. This shit is like.. almost 12o years old.

I actually took out a book called America's Gilded Age (because I'm pretty gay for the architecture of that era.. COUGH) and the library has a few pages dedicated to it. I also grabbed a brand new graphic design history book, because I guess I might as well still be in school. Not to mention, I got both of these in the oversized book section, so I probably looked pretty ridiculous carrying these back home, but hey! That's all right!

Notable Thing #3: She is Fixed!

During a very brief trip to New York City a few weeks ago, I hit up this awesome flea market on 24th street that was just full of [expensive, for the most part] vintage goodies (I was incredibly tempted to buy this belt buckle that was a giant scorpion in amber, but couldn't bring myself to dish out $75 for it). I came across this sweet, old zippo-like lighter for eight bucks that has the initials D.H.M. engraved on the front and 1958 on the side, though the guy who sold it to me said it was probably even older than that. All it needed was some fluid and a new flint, and voila.

FIRE.

And on the bottom it says West Germany, so I mean.. the oldest it can be is 61. But shiit, that's old for a lighter. And it works perfectly, thanks to Tyler's donation of TLC and a flint. So, celebration! I wasn't scammed out of eight bucks!

IN OTHER NEWS:

LCD Soundystem squeezes in"Empire State of Mind" during their encore of "New York, I Love You" at their Terminal 5 show this past Saturday; My cousin may or may not have acquired a scalped ticket at the last possible moment at face value so I didn't have to go by myself.

Arizona 99-cent teas have been the most consistent thing in mine- and most people's- lives.

The San Jose Sharks lost some kind of championship game. This means nothing to me, except I often wear a Sharks hat because it's has a shark on it (awesome). One night I got verbally assaulted by drunken bros from across a McDonald's in Allston because I was wearing it right after this loss, but bro.. I don't follow hockey. Stop yelling at me, man. I'm on the phone.

You know you need a different job/a vacation when your job haunts your dreams and you talk to your boyfriend in your sleep about how you "need two pies" and "mmmmbgraaahhhh." Sleeping while dreaming about work doesn't really count as sleeping. I should be getting paid for sleeping. Get out of my head, pie. Pie brain.

After riding around a bike with one pedal and a duct-tape-fastened seat, riding a bike around with 2 pedals and everything appropriately bolted on is awkwardly comfortable.

Thank you.

The Most Unreadable Post.. Ever.

2010-05-14T14:01:00.001-07:00

So, here I is,
on the porch on a lovely Friday enjoying the warms. The remains of my 2 1-dollar tacos sitting defeatedly at my side, my Baby's Tears perched on the railing looking extra perky and well fed. The porch is nice and cleared off (except for the thousands of BBs on the floor, but shit), my housemates are making anti-Semitic remarks at some girl they're hating on and don't realize I'm sitting here.. and everything just seems perfectly lit at the moment.

Work is done 'til Monday (JERK-OFF MOTION TO THAT), and I have some rice & beans, my Wayfarers, some tip money and a fucking weekly T pass, so I am ALL-FUCKING-SET (and obviously some w33d.. my apologies). I'll get me a 6 pack of tallies and my significant other and I'll have everything I need forever.

Until I run out of tallies.

People are always talking about how awesome their boyfriends and girlfriends are.. but do they make surprise witty art where it matters most?

IN THE BATHROOM?

Because mine does.

See?

Courtesy of JenKnight

–adjective

1. inspiring awe: an awesome sight.

2. showing or characterized by awe.

3. Slang. very impressive: That new white convertible is totally awesome.
4. Leaving funny notes where people shit.
5. Having the name 'Pat,' in which 'Pat' is not short for 'Patrick' or any other name, even though no one really believes you.

_ _ _ _

So.. the forecast says rain? Well,
I say fuck thaaaat shit.

The rain and thunder just make us rage haahhda [Boston phonetics], mother nature.
We'll rage harder because we were pissed it didn't rain the day 51 Cal caught fire.

WHERE WERE YOU THEN, HUH?
Where were you when that incredibly stoned bro on the first floor dropped the burning cherry of his 12th 4/20 joint (..I mean, a match?) onto his bed and the house went up in flames?!

Again, from JenKnight.

So. Bring it. I'll be waiting. Waiting for that rain, waiting for that altered state, waiting for Pat's return, waiting for all of that bird (pterodactyl?) shit to wash off my windshield.* Waiting, waiting, waiting.

*I mean, I don't drive the car and I don't planning on doing so for another week, but come on. I'm impressed and disgusted all at once. And it's not like its just one poo.. multiply that shit by three, and then imagine the hugest shits a New England birdie could produce. Now imagine it on my windshield. On the drivers side. And my drivers-side wiper is broken. Come on.

Fuckin' nature, man.
It rules.

Superpoop.

2010-05-14T13:56:00.000-07:00

This needed to be shared.

C.R.E.A.M., b1tcH.
More like C.H.E.E.Z.E.

Flickr Update, Pt. II

2010-05-04T12:36:00.000-07:00

Added some more film (and Photo Booth..) pictures to the Flickr a moment ago. Enjoy? There's more. Click 'em for bigness.

Pon de Floor.

2010-04-28T12:50:00.000-07:00

Today's been a shit ton of work and shitty weather coupled with a good amount of sleep deprivation, but most days haven't been anything like today.

They've been awesome.

I've been out and about every day, even when the weather is shitty. There hasn't been a dull moment in the past few weeks, and that's how I've been wanting it to be.

I mean, working in a bakery isn't exhilarating.. but the rich, prissy fucks I cater to are always amusing. Working is so relaxing when you don't take it too seriously and you get to eat free bangin-ass sammiches everyday. I've been biking and taking the T everywhere, and I really love the feeling of not needing a car to get around. And the exercise.

This city is making me feel pretty damn alive, motherfuckers.

& I'm finally the proud owner of a library card for the Boston Public Library, and the moment that was all said and done I ravaged the shit out of their CD section. Picked up some No Age, Black Lips, Prince, etc etc. Lots of artists I've heard a bit about but never really jumped into. Besides Prince.

Black Lips' album "Good Bad Not Evil" has been blowing my mind.

I've also finally got my ass around to doing some artsy bullshit in the form of stenciling and minor paintin'!

Above is a gift I gave to the Calumets to adorn the walls of their new place(s) since the unfortunate 4/20 torching of their old place, #51 (RIP). It's none other than Shelley Duvall.

I just traced a large image of her face (yeah.. the semi-shabby tracing-paper-up-to-the-computer-screen tracing technique) during the famous scene in the Shining where Jack Nicholson is taking an axe to the door, if that wasn't obvious by her looking extra-frightening. The scarier Shelley is, the scarier Shelley gets. And I had some extra paint (from the bullshit below) so I just applied it to the bottom of my sneakers and filled up some awkward spots.

Oh, and I spelled her fucking name wrong.

But that's okay. She'll just watch everybody pee, I guess.

NOICE BLABBIN' TO YA, BACK 2 MAJOR LAZER.

My Thoughts on Fine Films.

2010-04-14T16:24:00.000-07:00

Photo Credit: P. Tarantino

"I mean, I kinda wish he kept Nick Cage's face instead of switching back. But I guess it'd be weird to wear the face of the man who killed your son. But hey- that's how they did it back in the day."

IMPORTANT TIP:
Don't smoke weed and then try and do your taxes.

I'm Here Now.

2010-04-12T13:14:00.000-07:00

Finally. Boston employment is a success. I've been living here for about a month now and am genuinely happier than I have been in some time.

I really love this city.
Thus far.

LESS UPDATES = LESS TIME ON THE INERNET = GOOD

I'm now off to go get a library card and see if the post office is still open!
HUZZAH.

P.S. I've been shooting in black & white lately and will soon have money to get that shit developed, I'll post up the results sOOn!

I am Very Much in Love with This Boy.

2010-03-22T15:25:00.000-07:00

Boston Commons, November 2009

Wednesday, March 17th, 2010.

2010-03-17T10:12:00.000-07:00

It's a beautiful, sunny 53 degrees in Boston today.
I'm going to go take advantage of it despite one more fruitless interview.
Walk to the commons, maybe?

Not sure yet.
Just gonna go.

Tonight will hold some debauchery, undoubtedly.
Some green malt liquor, good company and whatnot.

I hear this town does St. Pattie's the best, and I'm about to see how true this is.

C'MON BOSTON.
I have faith.

Some Newness, Some Oldness.

2010-03-11T10:23:00.000-08:00

Please forgive my writing style in this post. I'm just trying to push some things out of my brain.

NEWNESS:

I got me a plant. My first plant. The little label says it's called "Baby's/Angel's Tears." I've been calling it Baby's Tears because.. well, it's hilarious. Hopefully I won't kill it immediately.

I reunited the other day with my two best friends from middle school, one of which is about to graduate cosmetology school. So, naturally, I bought her some T-Bell and she cut my hair for free. GOT SOME BANGS. Again.

Pat, Jen and I are going to see Liars in April at the Paradise Rock Club. I just recently started getting into this band, and I'm normally not too big on this style of music, but I'm pretty confident that their live show will rule.

OLDNESS:

Despite my If-I-don't-get-this-last-Boston-job-I-applied-for-then-I'll-look-for-work-in-CT ultimatum, I got another phone call for an interview up there. And I'm going to go for it.. again. It's at a cafe in a very pretty museum, and my heart melted a bit when I checked out their website. Museums are pretty sweet.

G-Town boredom continues, my obsessive-compulsive cleaning due to idleness continues, brokeness continues.

My random, unintentional Pabst plugging also continues (I do want this pretty badly.. I can't tell if it's a patch or a silk-screened poster or something, but either way).

Have a lovely day.

Props to Pabst.

2010-02-19T11:58:00.000-08:00

PBR is getting some kick-ass people to design their fliers.
Here are a few I came across on their blog.. awesome.

But enough design geek for the moment..

I'm still in Boston,
the hunt continues,
I'm headed to Cambridge momentarily.

HOORAY!

In the Running.

2010-02-13T01:55:00.000-08:00

There's a reason for this, I swear.

BUT NOW IT'S TIME FOR SLEEP.
I have to catch a big red bus in New York City in 13 hours.

Flickr Update!

2010-02-11T01:39:00.000-08:00

Hmm..
4:30 AM again..
I'm beginning to see a trend.

I updated my Flickr account today [yesterday?] with a few pictures I took in October/November with my Rebel SLR, including the teacup up above. I fuckin' ADORE the image quality with this hot little number. I did a some research and it turns out that she was actually made in 1996, which makes her a lot older than I originally thought she was. That lady is 14 years old and still raping eyes.

I love it.

The pictures all have a nice vintage tint to them, which makes me that much more infatuated with her.
In lust, in lust.

These are just a few, you should check out the rest of 'em here!

I still have 4 more rolls to get developed, and I will do this as soon as I have some extra money on me. I lovelovelove shooting film, but it's unfortunately somewhat of an expensive hobby. And if you've been reading any of my posts, you know I am lacking.

Waiting to be able to get these rolls developed has a weird excitement attached to it. Like I'm trying to fall asleep on Christmas Eve or something. I used them up in between November and yesterday afternoon, and a lot has happened in my life in that period of time.. it'll be really interesting to be able to see that progression through photographs.

That's definitely the one thing we lost when everything switched over to digital - reminiscence. Yes, it got cheaper. Yes, it's way easier to edit. Film you have to do some work for, whether it's working in a darkroom or getting the money to pay someone to develop it for you. But the real loss is forfeiting the anticipation and mystery of seeing how things turn out.

It's such a nice feeling.

Tried/Still Trying/Will Still Try.

2010-02-10T02:04:00.000-08:00

How to stay warm in New England: don't leave bed, wrap yourself up in a blanket, and then take pictures of yourself looking sedated.
Oh yeah, and I guess use the Pat method of heat preservation and duct tape plastic wrap over the windows!

I admit that 4:30 in the morning isn't the most appropriate time to wear a bathrobe, write a blog and blast Vampire Weekend like nobody's business, but let's face it.

I've never really been one for appropriateness.

(Read: I look like a gigantic asshole.)

I'm back in CT and back at my rabid Craiglisting for Bostonian employment. My 2-day trip north ended up being 8 days (would you be able to leave this face after 2 days? I sure couldn't), but the on-foot job hunt didn't go as well as I planned. I got a lot of dead ends, “Oh, you have to apply online” and “we're not really hiring right now but we're taking applications.” And I made a few follow-up calls yesterday to the ones that seemed hopeful, but all I got back was attitude and people that were in a huge rush to get off the phone.

BUT I AM FAR FROM GIVING UP.

I knew this wasn't going to be easy, but I really didn't think it'd be quite this difficult, either. Ha, well, I dropped my lovely safety-net summer job.. so there's no going back on it now.

I'mma git this shit cause I WANT it, motherfuckers. Want it more than I've wanted anything in my goddamn life. It'll happen as long as I persist.. so we'll see what happens.

Because I'm usually a quitter!

Not this time, dream abandonment.. YOU WON'T GET THE BEST OF ME.

It's All Nice on Ice, All Right!

2010-01-28T14:25:00.000-08:00

Took this during a visit in November. On Boylston, I think?
(I heart film grain.)

My friend Jason and I have been plotting relentlessly over coffee, making lists of possible employment (I have 11 jotted down in this immensely convenient little notebook that I have, thanks to this lovely, talented individual), tearing up Craigslist like it's nobody's business, and have 2 days lined up next week to explore and violate the city to the point of it feeling very, very uncomfortable.

We're finally gonna make this shit happen. It has been a lot of talking and dreaming for a while now, but the push is finally being made to turn all of it into a lifestyle instead of something I just constantly long for/am made upset by leaving behind after a few days.

Tonight I pack,
tomorrow I party,
Saturday and Sunday will be full of miscellany & lubs,
and then Monday the hard part starts.

I am so ready for this shit, for once.
Terribly anxious.. but ready.

Guess.

2010-01-26T15:56:00.000-08:00

Guess which one I'm dating.
Just guess.

Picture d-blocked from Jill!

Flip That Shit.

2010-01-23T15:09:00.000-08:00

So many lovely albums and EPs in such a lovely format.
A format that I can't play.
I'd like a record player.
Vinyl is on its way back and I'm pretty happy about it.

THIS MUSIC NEEDS TO GET OFF OF MY SHELF AND HOP ONTO A TURNTABLE,
BITCHES.

I'd appreciate if anyone could tell me any good brands to purchase or if they have an ol' busted one they'd like me to get off of their hands!

What Finally Led Me to Boston.

2010-01-21T01:48:00.000-08:00

I'm leaving for good ol' Mission Hill again in about seven hours.
I really can't get enough of Boston and the people in it.
I'm not a city person by any means, but when I fell in love with it two summers ago,
I could never get it out of my mind.

I dropped out of Central.
I have a bunch of reasons why I did it,
one of them being the fact that I am incredibly claustrophobic.
Yes, claustrophobic.
Connecticut is closing in around my throat,
and if I don't leave now,
I never will.

So I'm leaving.
Beantown beckons.

And no, this isn't for a boy.
This is for me.
I always swore to myself I wouldn't go to a certain school or move somewhere for a boyfriend,
but I eventually did anyway.
Cue Central.
And though it was a good learning experience and tons of good times were had there,
it unfortunately didn't work out at all the way we wanted it to.
So I'm not letting my emotions get the best of me again.
They're good for some things,
but when it comes to living situations- not so much.

It's nice to be able to wake up with someone every morning, but you have to weigh all the possible outcomes and consequences and not let your feelings at a particular moment interfere with your common sense.

I feel like last semester and this break have taught me a lot about life, love, the absence of love, and how not to handle all of them.
Time to myself, which is what I was afraid of all this time, ended up being what helped me the most.
No outside influences, just me.
When you're around people all the time, I feel like you don't have any time to do your own thinking.
And though being home has felt pretty damn restricting at times, it has been for the best.

The most important thing I learned was to let yourself get upset. Let that shit out.
If you act like you're not saddened by something that, deep down, depresses the shit out of you..
it'll just make things worse.
You'll make yourself numb.
Just be honest with yourself.

Denial - "The failure to acknowledge an unacceptable truth or emotion or to admit it into consciousness, used as a defense mechanism."

It isn't such a good long-term defense mechanism. It wears you the fuck down.

But now I'm ready to hit the road.
The next few days will consist of good friends, job and apartment hunting, Pabstiness, gigantic burritos, and fresh romance.
And hopefully some surprises, too.

Boston. She is always good to me.

Drawring.

2010-01-19T21:58:00.000-08:00

This is a picture I drew.
It is a drawring of Pat.
I haven't drawr'd in a while, so I decided to drawr Pat.
Pat is awesome.
I'm not very good at this whole drawring thing.
Yes, I'm aware there's an extra R in there.
I used this picture as a reference:

I'm aware I fucked up his arms amongst other things.. but shhhh!
Don't tell him.
But hey.. I tried.

I got crazy collage-y with it, but duct tape doesn't photograph well, so you'll just have to use your imagination. I haven't been inspired to do any artsy/design-related projects in a while, so this little project made me very happy. I also accidentally made myself an awesome lettermark that I may or may not use for things in the future. Sososososo excited. I'm glad these types of things still get my heart racing.

It just takes a little inspiration, is all.
An empty 6am train, impending good company and some LCD Soundsystem will do that to you.

:)

Salutations.

2010-01-18T22:03:00.000-08:00

Cheers to New York,
cheers to Boston.

Cheers to the places in-between that have helped me grow, learn and fall for various people, places and things.

Cheers to the two cities for being the parentheses of my life.

Cheers to the future and what it has in store for me, you and everyone else.

Hey Y'all.. Listen Up. I'm Partly Insane.

2010-01-07T01:06:00.000-08:00

My actions will come as a surprise to you,
unless your name is Max Retter.
I just damn near gave myself a heart attack when I realized what the next step is.

I've been waiting and waiting and waiting for things to happen, but it registered with me moments ago that, hey!
All of the things I've been putting off actually DON'T NEED TO HAPPEN.

Do you understand how liberating that is?!

Instead of waiting for things, I'm just going to go get them!
Isn't that what life's about?
Going after what you want and making friends and having adventures on the way there?

I'm going for it, darlings.
I'm finally taking that leap I've been afraid of.

17-year-old me said it the best:

"Life isn't life without doing the things you love
with the people you love
and the people you'll fall in love with soon enough.

These hours are ours."

Viva la 2kX.

Oh, well.

2010-01-06T13:23:00.000-08:00

I took your advice.
You should've taken it, too.
It was good advice.

Make & Bake.

2009-12-18T19:16:00.000-08:00

I'm home?
I'm home!

And it's still freezing ass.

Connecticut, you really are miserable. I just learned from Albie Rock that it's scientifically evident that good ol' CT is the unhappiest state in the whole fucking country.
That does not surprise me in the least.

Being home, I'm already feeling a bit anxious. Anxious in the sense that I may be bored out of my skull within the first few days of having no job, booze, schoolwork (because I did that?), or a bunch of friends around to keep me constantly occupied. This anxiety led me to a GIANT BRAINSTORMING SESSION for a way to conquer this impending apathy and aggressive snacking..

I have decided to fill my time with activities that will, if I keep up with it, stimulate my brain every day while I'm here.

Make & Bake.

Yeah, I even gave that shit a name.

Every day that I'm here, my goal is to:
ONE! - Make something. Anything.
TWO! - Bake/straight-up cook something.. and this does not include ramen or anything else you just need to add water to and/or heat up.

I have lots of other things I want to do while I'm here, but think I should focus on those the most, along with spending as much time with my family as I can.

I actually have my 'Make' idea picked out already. It's an easy one, but it's a start!

It's called Punched Out.. a typeface that's actually a blueprint for 3D letters!! I nerded out in excitement when I found it. It's free, too.. so download the shit out of it, YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE.

And for the 'Bake' portion.. I have a jar of 2-year-old cookie mix that just needs to go.

Chocolate.
Chip.
Cookies.

SO, TOMORROW- 3D letters are happening, and C-cubed is happening. There will be pix, I promise.

But it is now 2:30 AM Eastern time, so I need to get my sleeps. I have a Wings to call at 11 to see if they can reprint a check that my mom mistakenly recycled. Oops.

I'd like to leave you all with this picture of myself sporting PBR bottle cap earrings that my dearest Olivia made for me. I've been looking for a way to have Pabst near me at all times.

I love you, Olivia.
Love.

HAPPY SATURDAY!

Was It?

2009-12-17T11:18:00.000-08:00

I'm trying to decide if this semester was a failure.

It definitely was in an academic sense.
I'll be lucky to pass two classes or get back into the design program next fall.. if I even decide to stay here that long.

But for self-growth and expansion of mind, it may not have been too bad.
I had a bunch of large scale slip ups, for sure.. I damaged relationships left and right, but I also formed a lot of new bonds with people I never thought I would. I discovered new things in old friends, and saw ugly sides of people that for so long were near-perfect to me.

I've finally become aware of what I've been doing wrong all these years, and though it's a good discovery, it's time for the hard part.. the changing.

I'm broke, I'm about to be on academic probation, it's 18 degrees outside, I'm heading to a final in 15 minutes, and all I know is that there's going to be 40 ounces of Pabst waiting for me to consume it, listen to Wavves with it and reflect like a motherfucker.

Hello adulthood! You are quite the gargantuan asshole.

Journal Entry - 7.11.09

2009-12-14T13:00:00.000-08:00

"Who needs a mental breakdown when you can just break shit?
Does that even make sense?"

The Beecher Basement.

2009-11-05T17:44:00.000-08:00

So, that's where I am with my lovely vroomie.
In the only dorm room in the basement.

I promise this one is a lot more exciting.
(SPOILER ALERT: YOU SEE A TOILET.)

WATCH BELOW.

Shown and Told.

2009-10-16T23:01:00.000-07:00

"There's something in the moment that is now that makes the past and present not so ugly.
The sound, taste and silence come together and help me dull the negativity to a point where I can have some genuine, old fashioned bliss for just a little while."

-Me, from my journal,
basking in my 2am deliriousness a few weeks ago.

THREE THINGS.

2009-10-08T20:01:00.000-07:00

2009-10-06T22:18:00.000-07:00

Something today made me realize that some people are going nowhere.

Not necessarily career-wise or anything like that.
Just.. they'll never leave.

They have little or no ambition and though they may do something like go to college or move 10 minutes out of town, they will never really leave or do anything differently.

Some people will just have the same routine forever because they really don't want anything to change and never gave anything new a chance.

I might be one of them, but I'm not sure.

It's not a bad thing if that's what you want, but I don't want it.

I want the Atlantic Ocean and cold weather.
But more than anything,
I want to go back in time before I get too old to.

Project #4; New Source of Income; Food; Fall.

2009-09-30T14:53:00.000-07:00

1) School.

So, graphic design project #4 impends.

One [incredibly time consuming] project a week is quite draining.
Trying to get it done at a reasonable time - as in not in the last few hours before class - plus balancing work for four other classes does not make this easier.
(And recently a job, too!)

It's the sole deciding factor of acceptance into the design major, and now I understand why. Those twisted souls are testing us to see whether we can handle the tons of academic, social and economic pressure of college life while still producing original, creative and lovable pieces.

Crafty, CCSU design department.
Real crafty.

I have your 12-hour projects, two chapters in psych + 2 psych blogs, a chapter worth of geography (and every other week a test), 3 sections of math, and 1-2 equally grueling drawing assignments. Per week.

This ain't no NCC, thats for sure.

And yeah, it's a huge pain in the ass.. but like a lovely friend of mine said, I love doing it and that's the important thing.

So, I'm going to dive right into this bitch and make her look reaalll sexy.

Worst comes to worse, I'll drop out and use my loan to buy a letterpress and go my own damn way.

(here's a little preview, though.)

2) Work.

Since the second week of school I've been job hunting. I've stopped by a few bars seeing if they needed a bartender or a waitress, but nobody wanted to hire a full-time student who has night classes on the two busiest nights of the week.. so there goes my bartending idea. Maybe next semester.

H&M wasn't hiring, American Eagle wasn't hiring, blah blah blah.. and just as I was losing hope, good ol' Wings hired me on the spot.

Doing deliveries.
Ha!

I never would've thought me and the Malibu would be together at work and at play. Or that I would be delivering boneless wings to drunk-ass college kids to pay for my tuition.

I love surprises.

3) Food, Inc.

Speaking of wings and surprises, this movie made me want to go down the vegetarian path all over again.

You thought Supersize Me made you stop wanting to eat fast food? For a week? This movie goes beyond just showing how bad it is for you, but how and where it's actually made.

The most upsetting part to me was how badly and in what terrible ways these huge companies are fucking over farmers.

They didn't try to woo you with gore and shock value like PETA does, they use interviews and hidden cameras to get you the information and different points of view from everyone involved, and that's what made it really convincing.

I highly highly highly suggest seeing this. Go to the library and take it out, rent it, whatever.

Juss do it.

4) Seasons.

My dearest fall is finally here to stay.

Knock on wood.

Bundling up against frigid breezes and dark, heartless skies make me feel more alive than anything.

I hope this transition into winter will be a long one.

P.S. Rabbit, rabbit!

Too Early.

2009-09-22T23:29:00.000-07:00

I need to step up my game like a muhfucker.

This includes not staying awake past 1am when I have class the next morning.

I Like a Challenge.

2009-09-15T22:30:00.000-07:00

I do!

I'm glad my 'skills' are finally being tested.
It's loadsa fun.

(How 'HRO' of me to use apostrophes instead of quotes.)

This is a little book I made for graphic design project #1 (of the FIFTEEN I'm gonna have to do for this semester). It's a little book containing 50 pairs of opposites- little 1" x 1" pictures of 'em.

Like this!:

And yeah, doing like I do, it was supposed to be in Friday at 5pm (I had a week to do it!) and I waited until Friday afternoon to start it, not realizing it would take hours and hours of work. Hah.

Well, I learned real quick that this ain't no NCC and I will get no mercy, but I will get a critique tomorrow morning.

We'll see how that shit flies.

But despite my shortcomings in the punctuality department, creating these things make me feel superb. In the midst of my deep concentration while I'm working on projects like these, no matter how tiny, I feel this awesome rush. It's like the feeling of striking gold + honest, hard work + pride & glory.

AND MOAR.

I'm glad I know I <3 my major.
Thank the lawd.

The Meaning for Those Who've Been Wondering.

2009-09-09T21:30:00.000-07:00

So, here I am at a university. A place that, if this post held true today, I wouldn't be.
Decisions are just stepping stones, I guess.

It's pretty crazy how I got here.
To me it is, at least.

I used to be SUPER anti-college a few years ago. I was anti a lot of things I'm into/put up with now. Deep down my values are the same, but they're a lot more muffled than they used to be. Some may call it maturing or being a pussy, but I call it "being the pretty bird." Giving too much of a fuck about petty things. I need to bring my old balance back so my dovie scales can be even again.

Is this too cryptic for everybody?
I'm sorry.
I'll explain.

Well, I have this tattoo, you see.
Two birds right here on my chest.
They have a very very important meaning, one that isn't just a meaning but serves as a constant reminder.. a code, even.
Not like a coded message- a code of honor.

One of the birds is a Ringneck Dove, a domesticated birdie with clipped wings meant to sit in a cage its whole life and look pretty. They are professionally bred every which way you can imagine in every designer color you can think of. It won't survive in the wild for shit and is completely and utterly dependent on humankind for its survival. Playin' it safe.

The other is an African Mourning Dove, the Ringneck Dove's ancestor. Completely wild and free, no strings attached, equipped with flight, a nest, everything. Nobody locks this bird up or uses him as an object in some cheap wedding stunt. He does what he wants when he wants, and the lifestyle is one that a bird was meant to carry out in nature, free and fending for itself. Balls-out survival.

It's a balance, guys.

I knew it was meant to be when Shawn Hebrank sent me the sketch back. I sent him my idea and what I got back couldn't have been more perfect. I almost broke down crying in the lifeless cubicle I was interning in when I opened the email. (Yep, motherfucker almost made me cry joy tears.)

I was in the best mindset I've ever been in when I came up with this and got it done.

It's on my chest so I'll never forget it.

And I'm not going to do 17-year-old me the ultimate injustice by tipping the scales, getting fat and living in a cage for the rest of my life with nothing but my college degree and basic cable.

I'm determined to set it right and stop being blinded and distracted by the bells and whistles of adulthood.
Growing up may seem to have its own to do list, but fuck it.

I make my own damn rules.

I just have to try not to kill anyone for food or territory and I'm good.

LIVE.. From the James Computer Lab.

2009-08-30T08:42:00.001-07:00

This is gonna be a quick one, because I'm starving.
BUT!

I'm all moved in, everyone has been lovely, and I should be seeing my dearest Olivia and Max very soon.

And maybe Anders if he ever wakes the fuck up. But I guess I can't complain too much, it's still before noon and I wasn't even planning on being up this early.

I made a last minute decision last night to go to a little breakfast thing with my roommate, which ended up being a cheap hotel-style continental breakfast. FIGURES!

Moar later, FOOD TIME.

Nearing the End & Beginning.

2009-08-28T21:20:00.000-07:00

Has my blogging slowed down or what?
Damn.

I'm pretty much done with the packing calamity, I just have a few more little odds and ends to throw into a backpack and I am finished.

Ahhh.
Summer.

You're too damn hot, and I'm real excited for fall.
Can't wait for the cool breezes, hoodies and heartlessly dark nights.
Mmm.

BUT- despite the drowned garden, all the depressing-as-shit rain, and the hours (AND HOURS AND HOURS) I spent inside, this summer provided me with a few things that were quite lovely.

I saw a LOT of live music this summer from all over the goddamn musical spectrum. I'm talking Man Man, Erik Petersen, the Decemberists, Hercules and Love Affair.. everything. Funny thing is, what I noticed the most was how differently the crowd acted from show-to-show. I was aware that different styles of music attracted different types of show-goers, but the contrast was just nuts. The most wild one was definitely the Dan Deacon/Deerhunter/No Age round robin.. you could see the mood change drastically from song to song.

Innnnnnteresting.

I went on a bunch of mini trips, too. Virginia, Cape Cod, all over CT.. it was nice to get away for a bit, but.. shit. I felt like I'd been driving ALL summer. I must've put 1o,000 miles on my car since May. Driving is nice sometimes- I've grown quite fond of the Merritt Parkway's scenic-ness in these past few months- but most of the time I'm alone in the car for hours and it drives me batshit crazy.

Yet- in a few hours I'll be doing it again.

Trekking an hour and a half with a 'bu full of my shit up to good ol' CCSU, hauling it all up to the 6th floor, and then meeting my lovely new roommate.

[This is most definitely the most choppy and barely-focused blog I've ever written.
I'll blame it on the ridiculous hour and my lack of sleep.]

OH WELL.

NIGHT, ALL.

Luv u.

Double Exposure.

2009-08-07T10:28:00.000-07:00

It is the illest.

Tino.

2009-07-30T09:38:00.001-07:00

Summmmmer Update.

2009-07-29T09:18:00.000-07:00

I guess it's been a little while since I wrote a little blog.

I've been doing lots of preparing and working,
and some vacationing and writing.

School starts in a month, and I'm gonna be doing that whole dorm thing for the first time.
It's an odd feeling.. the slight roommate-mystery anxiety, signing off on a sizable student loan when I won't be employed in a month, finding a new job, possibly doing REAL bartending for the first time at that job.. etc, etc.

My actual classes are what I'm worrying about the least, actually.
But I know that won't be for long.

I'm pretty pumped to get out of Greenwich, more than anything.
I'm so done with this town and the majority of the people in it.

*angstangstangstangst*

Not that Central is that far away.. it's far enough.

I'm EXTRA excited about living within a 3 minute walk from Anders.

That is the best part of this whole mess, and makes the current calamity all worth it.

*mushymushymushymushy*

I mean.. it's impossible to not fall for a kid in designer European boxer briefs (?).
IT REALLY IS IMPOSSIBLE.

But, vacation-wise, Virginia was lovely.
Our hotel was really nice,
how we spent our time was even better,
but our company was undoubtedly the best.

I surprisingly wasn't feeling photography while I was down there, but instead opted for the whole video-blog nonsense. I put all those shits up on youtube, and I'll post them in playlisted glory once I care more about doing it. Ha!

But, to sum up the trip:

Candace and Scott are awesome, I've missed them tons.
I wish that VCU in Richmond would separate the goddamn Graphic Design and Stuido Arts programs so I could've had a shot.
Watermelon hookah tobacco tastes like jolly ranchers.
My friends and myself are the first (and only) people to ever use the pool our hot tub at our hotel.
Sonic is incredibly overrated.
So is Denny's.
Waffle House is not.
Cigarettes are literally half the price as they are up here.
Wawa is pretty cool.
New Jersey still sucks.
I wish we didn't have to leave.

Ahhhhh.

Well.

I did take one picture.
And I'll share it with you guys.
But ONLY you guys.
Because it's kind of private.

ISN'T HE ADORABLE?!

The answer is yes.

Gettin' the F-O.

2009-07-13T21:48:00.000-07:00

(Curiously phallic Japanese soda bottle that has absolutely nothing to do with this post.)

So,

I'm on a new mission to make my summer more play and less work.

Between 2 jobs at the golf course, bartending classes, and fussing over tuition payments.. it's been nuts. I've only been to the beach once since I got out of school and have only left the state to.. well.. go to class in White Plains.

There's been a good amount of unnecessary drama in my life lately (& tons in my dear boyfriend's) and I have come to the point where I'm completely fed up with brooding in my room about it and not doing much more than mindlessly clicking around on the internet.

Today I realized that I'm in dire need of the open road and a scenery change,
so I up and decided I'd kidnap my sweetheart and drive to Virginia on Monday.

And that is that.

I haven't been down since I checked out VCU in October, and I am overdue.

IT'S ABOUT TIME FOR ME TO SIT AT DENNY'S AT 4AM EATING SEASONED FRIES WITH RANCH DRESSING AND BULLSHIT WITH MY OLD FRIENDS WHILE THEY SMOKE CIGARETTES INSIDE AND FLIRT WITH THE OLD WAITRESSES.

Anders and I shall make the 420 mile journey in the Malibu to Prince George (which was briefly my home in 2004) and absorb the country for a bit.. leaving you tri-state kiddies to EAT OUR DUST.

(Did I get that from Street Sharks? I hope so..)

I talked to the lovely Ms. Candace a few hours ago and we'll be staying at her place for a couple days and then possibly renting a room for the last one.

I'm thinking Virginia Beach, the world's biggest Arby's (I am serious), possibly some Richmond, old buddies, and country lovin'.

& Sonic.

(I got jealous of Ren.)

I am very excited to be leaving this bustling northeast nonsense for the cute, quiet ruralness of Prince George County..
regardless of how short a time it may be.

I do have the rest of the week cut out for me.. work and Mike tomorrow, bar practice and Man Man with Anders&Max on Wednesday, fixing my sleep pattern/seeing Shawn on Thursday, a double shift on Friday (6am to 9pm, bitches) with bartending final attempt #2 in-between shifts, and possibly another double on Saturday.

But it is 3am. And I should go to bed.
I do have work.
Yes I do.

You know how it's obvious I'm exhausted?

I'm using italics.

Goodnight/good morning/I don't give a fuck.

2009-07-11T15:35:00.001-07:00

Class.
Where did it go?

Lazy/Boozey/Throwback.

2009-07-02T16:31:00.001-07:00

Well, well.

Tomorrow is my bartending final.
I have a 60(?)-question written exam.
Then I have to make 12 random drinks (out of the 100+ I learned) in 7 minutes.

I N T E N S E.

I just hope I get my stupid certification tomorrow so I can GTFO of this restaurant I'm working at now.
I'm sick and fucking tired of being treated like complete shit by my boss.

I wish I was over-exaggerating, but I ain't.

My shift is a 6-hour bipolar shit show, without fail.

I think it's about time to just leave when every time you work,
you cross your fingers you'll get fired.

Ha!

OH YEAH, and throwback-chillage is always nice.
I <3 rekindling friendships with truly good souls.

[end of vaguest/laziest entry ever.]

SPORTS CAP.

2009-06-26T12:09:00.001-07:00

I just bought tickets to see Man Man next month;
hell yeah.

The last (and only) time I saw them was the summer of '07 with a few of my CLP buddies, and at the time I had no idea who they were.. I had only heard their song Engrish Bwudd a couple times when I got rides from them (yes.. pre-Malibu.. seems like ages).

I had decided that they were awesomely odd enough for me to venture to Philly to check 'em out live in their ol' hometown.

After 2 hours of sweatiness in our favorite mini-van, we walked into the venue- which was completely packed wall to wall- and were immediately immersed in a cloud of weed smoke and beer stink.*

(*SIDE NOTE: We were probably as gone as everyone else in that place. The three of us that didn't have to drive had been pre-gaming on the way down with Jim Beam that we had [sadly] transferred into a Gatorade bottle with a SPORTS CAP. I write SPORTS CAP in CAPS because this was in no way a good idea. The reason being that when you drink things out of a bottle with a SPORTS CAP, the liquids have a tendency to BYPASS YOUR TONGUE AND GO RIGHT DOWN YOUR THROAT so you can't taste the 15-dollar whiskey bitterness that says "Hey.. uh, remember: this shit can kill you.")

I remember the performance being quite stunning. Deerhunter opened up for them, whom I remember clear as day because the super-skinny lead singer was wearing only a mid-thigh length t-shirts with an airbrushed bikini-clad body on it. I feel like only the coolest people on earth wear those.. I met a guy at Rock the Bells soon afterwards who had one that had straight up naked boobies on his.

Then followed Man Man, in their all white/facepainted glory.
Did I know any of their songs except for that one I had mentioned previously?
Nooope.
But I still danced my ass off.. which is something most know that I'm too shy to do normally.. was as cheerful and social as ever, and even ended up meeting Russel after the show [who I believe played the trumpet?] because my friend Brittney lost her phone and had him call it for her.

He then proceeded to call her after we had left.
And then text her and try to get her to hook up with his friend.
Oh, dear.

It was the most amazing/ridiculous concert experience I've had, to date.
Whether it was the friendly, social, dancey, and not-quite-comatose (aka embarassingly drunk) state I was in or the actual music that made it so, I'll never really know.

But I hope to repeat a similarly enjoyable experience.. minus the binge, possibly replaced with something classier- something microwbrewed, maybe?

Man Man kicks tons and tons of ass, and I'm crazy stoked to see them next month.
ESPECIALLY BECAUSE THEY'RE PLAYING SO CLOSE.
For once.

You should give 'em a nice, good list'nin to, if you don't <3 them already. How can you not at least be curious about a band who's sound is described as incorporating "Eastern European and circus-esque styles in their music"?

Come on, this could be you:

Minus the high-school drinking naivety. Hopefully.

2009-06-23T19:46:00.000-07:00

"Every time someone calls Bonnaroo 'the Roo,' a kitten dies."
- via @colinmeloy

Poppa'z Dee.. Extreme.

2009-06-21T10:46:00.001-07:00

Yep, yep, yep.

It's that time again for padre appreciation.
And my dad is the shit, so to prove that to him in the most materialistic way I could bear, I bought him 2 tickets to see Extreme play at Toad's Place in August. They are one of the better bands to exist in the late 80's/early 90's.. they got that ill shredding, anti-war messages, catchy choruses and are definitely headbanging status. Which to me usually isn't a good thing for music, but this is an exception! OH YEAH, and they mix funk in there, too.

And we all love funk. Secretly.
(Or that might just be me.. I lub the Meters.)

I grew up listening to Extreme's album III Sides to Every Story, (which are [respectfully] yours, mine and the truth) and I recall there being a lot of damn good songs on there- but the general public disagrees:

Or at least the Last.Fm Extreme-loving community.
Oh well.

My father told me that he'll definitely be grabbing a famous New Haven "yard of ale" before the show.. which, after I wtfed, he explained to me was exactly that: a three foot high glass of beer. I looked up a picture of such a glass.. and I was slightly appalled. SO SLIGHTLY APPALLED.. that I will share it with you.

That's the most awkwardly designed glassware I have ever seen. I don't know if its the way this guy is holding it, his face, or all of his livestrong bracelets/popped collar that make me hate this situation.. but I really do. There's gotta be some art to drinking out of this motherfucker. It looks like it should have a carb or something.

I wish my dad the best of luck when attempting this, but I know deep down he'll do it like a champ.

But here I leave you, dolls.

They beckon with Boca burgers.

2AM Love Transmission.

2009-06-18T23:14:00.000-07:00

Anders: This is the last time I'm gonna be able to talk to you before bed, so I've already picked what we're gonna talk about. Ok?

Me: Alright.

Anders: All plungers look like dildos. Discuss.

Me: All plungers look like dildos, but not all dildos look like plungers.

Anders: I love you.

Me: For that? Really?

Anders: Yes.

Me: Yay, that was easy! I love you too.

Anders: *ignoring what I just said; deep in thought* Yeah.. you know those ones with the clear handles with the.. with the..

Me: Ridges?

Anders: Yeahh, those ridges. That ergonomic handle.. more like vagronomic.

Me: HAHAHAHA YES. Vagronomic. Fuck.

Anders: And.. and why do they make dildos out of glass?

Me: Uh, I don't know, they're smoother? What else are they gonna make them out of? Mm, except for plastic I guess..

Anders: Do they need to be able to see through it? Like.. 'I need to see inside myself while I'm doing.. myself.'

Me: I just might blog this entire conversation.

Anders: It's like a window.. to the other side.. WAIT. Amber. What is a window made of.

Me: Glass.

Anders: And what is a dildo made out of.

Me: Glass.

Anders: DO YOU THINK IT'S A COINCIDENCE?

Me: No.

Anders: All dildos are windows, but not all windows are dildos.

FML.

2009-06-15T21:10:00.000-07:00

CELLULITIS ROOLZ.

ooh no wait, it fucking sucks.

And to ring in my 20th year of life, I get to go back to the damn ER tomorrow and get my hand sliced open some more.

Happy birthday to me!

Three Things that are Awesome.

2009-06-12T13:45:00.000-07:00

3) Wood-Paneled Staplers..

My first question: WHY?

Why, why, why. This thing has dolefully sat in various places around my house for as long as I can remember, and I never really thought anything of it.. except that it was an old-ass stapler. A few months back, I grabbed it and brought it up to my room so I could, you know, fixate sheets of paper together because my ill staple-free stapler can't handle a huge stack like the old fashioned metal bastards. The other day was the first time I took a good look at it and realized how glorious it actually was.

It's a stapler. With wood paneling. Holy. Shit.

Why would you need/want to wood-panel a stapler? (Is wood-panel a verb?) Hell, why would you need/want to wood-panel anything? It might be the ugliest thing you could do to an object.. whether it be a car or a.. uh.. car..

But this stapler.. she is glorious. And it isn't some nameless piece of shit, either. 'Tis a genuine, super-solid Swingline (I apologize for the alliteration.. I do). Real tough metal with that classic wood grain printed right on it. I can't find shit about it anywhere on the internet, and it's gotta be pushing 30 years old, as is my mom's guess.

"It's gotta be from the seventies. In the seventies they put wood panelling on everything."

So there you have it: a wood-paneled stapler is awesome.

2) Frightening Women's Clothing at Thrift Stores That You'll Try On but You'll Never (Ever) Buy..

This one needs no explanation. At all.

1) Being in the Right Place at the Right Time..

It could get you the ultimate parking spot, you could meet your future significant other in a quirky romantic comedy sort of way, get shit on by a bird, or get Nate Query and Colin Fuckin' Meloy's autographs after an ill show in the city. Honestly.. I'm not one for swooning the slightest bit over any celebrity, regardless of fame-level, but in the past six months or so I've fallen head-over-heels in love with the Decemberists, and it was an honor to meet them both (thought it was a quickly fleeting moment, it was magnificent). I could go on about how amazing they are and what a beautifully unique sound they have, but I already did that in this post. And a little bit in this one.. so I won't bore you.

BUT. Being in the right place at the right time certainly is awesome.

"Tell me one good thing you ever did in your life."

2009-06-09T17:30:00.000-07:00

I finally finished reading Kurt Vonnegut's The Sirens of Titan.

The reviews on the cover were pretty ridiculous.. saying things to the effect of, oh! This book tells you the meaning of life! Seriously! No, it does! Read this book, you'll understand life as we know it!!

What a silly proclamation for a book, to say it can do such a thing.

But, uh.. it did.

I've been battling with theories about if for years.. I bet we all have.

What's my purpose?
What was I put on this planet for?
Is there a heaven?
Hell?
God?
etc?

What stressful, stressful questions to ponder about when there's nothing else to distract you- when work is done for the day and classes have commenced.. once the laundry is done, your room is clean, and there is just nothing to do.

Why am I here?
What is there to do next?

This book doesn't straight up say "THE MEANING OF LIFE IS _______!" in the last sentence, so don't try and cheat.
If you're not completely clueless, you'll see it.

But shit, what book has the nerve to say something like that?
Oh wait.. *cough*THE BIBLE*coughcough*EVERY OTHER RELIGIOUS TEXT EVER*cough.*

I've been on the border with religion for years now.. finally settling with being 'agnostic,' which can be interpreted as 'I believe in God but I'm too lazy to practice religion,' 'I don't wanna insult anyone because I don't believe in God,' or 'I honestly believe in something, but I have no idea wtf it is.' My agnostic-ness was a fine blend of all three.

From my understanding, Christianity/Roman Catholocism isn't much more than a huge guilt trip. I can't say much about the other two biggies, Judaism and Islam, because I don't know much about them. I'm actually reading Koran right now to learn more about Islam, but until then, I can't say shit. I do know that they come from the same roots, so they can't be too fundamentally different. They all must have sins, redemption, and some form of heaven and hell. They all have good intentions on paper, just like any system of government does. But just like any government, it's the people who corrupt it and blow it up into some "DO THIS AND YOU SHOULD DIE, BUT IF YOU DO THIS THEN YOU'RE OK. AND OH, IF YOU DO BAD SHIT BUT YOU DO THIS AFTER, YOU'RE FINE TOO."

No, no, no, no.

It's not meant to create a global witch hunt where everyone's out to fuck up the non-believers and convert everyone in the hopes of "saving" them. It's not. They're guidelines to live peacefully.. don't kill, don't steal, love thy neighbor, etc, etc. It's common sense for the most part. But like everything that has to do with our damn species, shit is blown out of proportion.

Human nature is a bitch, and human error is an even bigger one.

Human error is why I'm afraid of flying and rollercoasters.
Think I'm crazy? Fine.
(But actually, fuck you.)

But, more about the guilt trip.
The you-better-watch-yourself-and-not-do-the-wrong-thing-cause-you'll-go-straight-to-hell.
What a fucking burden, am I right?
You really wanna spend you're life with that invisible gun to your back?
That gun that could be heaven or hell?
I don't.
And I won't.

I'm testing out what I've taken from this book.. and so far, I've been feeling a lot more calm.. a lot less worried about how things will ensue.

Because no matter what, they just will.

I don't highly suggest or strongly recommend this book.
I'm begging you all to read this, please.

I'd tell you the answer to that big question.. but you'll just shrug it off without the packaging.

I did.

All I know is, you can't stop the universe, lovies.

Oh, Online Meteorologists.

2009-06-05T17:43:00.000-07:00

June, June, June.

2009-06-02T11:09:00.001-07:00

I'm loving these reverse-weeks, I really am.

Reverse-weeks as in vacation from Monday to Thursday,
and then work Friday to Sunday.

I can avoid traffic, go wherever I please and it's gloriously empty because it's 11AM on a Tuesday, the house is quiet, and.. yeah.

No school, so no homework.
No homework, so.. more shit that I wanna do.
Motherfuckers.

Like various crafties and music-making.
And Anders-seeing.
And adventures.

I'm envious of one particular adventure that is ensuing at this very moment--
Anders and Ren are taking a bike trip extravaganza from Cromwell to Greenwich.. which is 75 miles or so.
They'll probably be here tomorrow night-ish?
But I am damn jealous.

My bike is broken.
And was in Greenwich at the time.
And there's few things that bother me more than being ill-prepared for an excursion like that one, on top of not 100% knowing where I'm going.. which are things I'd like to shake.
Take a shot in the dark at.

Fear, though it is a natural survival mechanism all humans are equipped with, it can't keep me repressed forever. Natural instincts fascinate the shit out of me, but that doesn't mean I'll bend and duck every which way they tell me to. I believe that the only way to ever move forward with your life and expand yourself is to, layer by layer, leave your comfort zone.. and I plan on pushing myself and just doing more.

One of those ways is musically, actually.

Anders, JT and I had a nice little band practice last night and we finally have a song in the works, which I'm very very very very excited about. I've been trying to get together with people and make music for years now, but they've all been dead ends. Now that things are finally starting to come together I can't be more giddy. I mean it!! All the expressive punctuation in the world couldn't convey my excitement to the least.. !?!

Another goal of mines: re-learn the damn manual settings on a camera.

I'm not letting the Rebel live up to its full potential on the 'oustide' setting (which has been the only one that doesn't try to activate the flash, which doesnt work right now..) during the daylight, so I'm gonna try to take some flashless ones tonight.

Nighttime photography is ill as fuck.

The second I remember how to set the shutter speed and f-stop and all that, I'll be good to go. My photography class was almost a year ago and I feel like my brain has been blended into not much more than a damn strawberry daquiri.

But, ha..
speaking of blended drinks..
I have enrolled myself into a 2-week long bartending class that starts next Monday. I already tend bar at the golf course, but we have no hard liquor so I have no idea how to make mixed drinks and whatnot.. but it's not so much for my own personal advancement and education as it is to open me up to job possibilities once I move up to New Britain in the fall.

This may be a recession.. but people haven't stopped drinking, that's for sure.

Ahhhhhhh.
Well.

I'm off, darlings.

2009-05-28T11:58:00.000-07:00

I was about to write a blog,
but I think I'm going to try and write a song, instead.

14-Dollar Lacoste.

2009-05-23T04:52:00.000-07:00

True mother/daughter bonding is when she teaches you her Goodwill shopping techniques and you teach her the perfect way to cook a microwave burrito.

I realized this last night as I was talking my mom through cooking a microwave burrito.

P.S. - I just saw a banner ad at that said 'WIN A CONNECTICUT GETAWAY!'

Hah.. hahahah.

Stop Grinning Like a Fuckin' Psycho and Get Back to Work.

2009-05-21T20:46:00.000-07:00

[This was written during the Great Central Wireless Internet Shutdown of May 20th, 2009.]

I'm BACK.. until this damn wireless gives out again.

I'm sitting at Anders' desk at CCSU while he and his roommate are in their last final exams, trying to be productive (and obviously not doing that at all).

Why is it that I always strive to be doing something constructive instead of just hanging out and relaxing? I don't have any more school projects to do, for god sakes.

Oh wait.. just kidding. I did sit on my ass. For the past few days Maxy K., Anders and I have watched 7 episodes of Dexter. Seven hour-long episodes.

Do I regret it?
Not at all.

I've missed good ol' Doakes' displeasure and discomfort with Dexter Morgan.
I never get crazy about TV shows..

I'm really not a fan of television itself at all, I feel it is a complete waste of time and a nice, easy way for your brain to be softened and molded to suit those lovely gentlemen and women that want you to become a lifelong patron of their fear and fast food.

But this show is marvelous.

Flawless casting, sensational writers, a sick musical score, and.. come on.
Who wouldn't like a vigilante serial killer who's also a forensic blood spatter analyst?!

Irony.
Love it.

But.
I guess I'll just continue listening to random Arctic Monkeys songs on HypeMachine.
And reluctantly sipping this iced mocha bullshit from McDonalds.

Then it's off to the bursar's office to figure out the most painless way to get into college debt.

(?!?!?!!?!?!?!)

Photographic Summary of May 13th.

2009-05-14T22:37:00.000-07:00

THE SEMESTER IS OVER.

Celebration.

A Crushing Melancholy of Clouds Approach from the West..

2009-05-12T17:09:00.000-07:00

Ahhh, there's nothing like opening your blinds in the morning and seeing sunshine, blue skies, and a creeper circling around McDonald's in a black cowboy hat and trench coat, looking around like he's hiding a 12-year-old girl in there.
And a huge, busted-ass landscaping truck run a red light like nobody's business.

Oh, and a Maserati.

Man.

There's nothing I love more than living in the middle of G-Town's most congested and poorly designed intersection. And by that I mean this would be a sweet place to live if my house wasn't situated in the middle of the loud, heedless business district of Riverside.

I mean, don't get me wrong.. I really love hearing reggaeton blasting outside of my window 'til 2AM and then the garbage truck noisily clanging around at 5 with blatant disregard to the little line of houses right across the street..

....

Anyway! This post wasn't meant to be ranty. Giuli pointed out to me yesterday that this blog is kinda emo. And she's kinda right. But I guess it's mostly because I hate lots of things, and I need to drain the damn hate out of my veins [METAL?!] by letting it ooze out onto this here [sad excuse for a] blog and maybe someday I'll just be so pleased with everything that people will think I'm constantly on some euphoric trip! Or I can just skip all of the soul-cleansing and designer drugs and put exclamation points at the end of every sentence!

If I'm not mistaken, my dear Matt Wilson and I had an entire AIM conversation like this for hours once and it drove me to near insanity! The only way I could make him stop was by not capitalizing my i's and butchering the shit out of my punctuation! Good times!!

But. The malaise was the topic I wanted to cover. The malaise and promise of good ol' mono. Anders definitely has it [ :( ] and today I really felt it kicking my ass. I slept for 10 hours last night, but I was so dead tired I barely left my bed all day. Heavy eyelids, drowsiness and all. I couldn't concentrate on my projects for shit, which are all due tomorrow at noon.

Being delirious is fucking awesome, unless you have something like 2 Photoshop and 3 Illustrator projects to finish in 16 hours. And that is 16 hours if you don't count sleep. Which is beckoning, my dears.
Beckoning.

BUT I MUST FIGHT.
This isn't for the grades. It's for my
GODDAMN DIGNITY.

McDonald's.. I hate you, but your stupid coffee may just save me this time.

And my Mother just brought me up some fckn velveeta mac and cheese because she is the best mom evar.

Cheers.

Creative Juices.

2009-05-06T08:41:00.000-07:00

If I have any willpower at all..
I will complete a good chunk of my Illustrator and Photoshop projects today.

At home.
Because I'm skipping out on class.

The weather is finally fuckin' gorgeous.. I haven't seen the sun since Saturday.
And I haven't been to school since.. Thursday?

Oh well.
I'm transferring, for god sakes.
And I have all my final projects and all the programs I need on my laptop, so what's the point?

And in between projects, there's definitely gonna be some arts and craftsing.
I don't even give a fuck.

I've found that (for me at least) being a design student takes quite the toll on your creativity. I feel like I'm being wrung dry of all of my ideas and am being corralled into a mac lab with a bunch of kids that think they're all the shit and have better ideas than everyone else.

I think the only way I can succeed in this field at all is if I take lots of breaks in between and just temporarily occupy myself with something else and make collages or brew a crazy tea concoction. Or mess around on the gee-tar a bit. Anything that'll take my mind off of the project for a little while and keep me stimulated. Staring at a computer screen for three hours straight not only kills my eyes, but also makes me go moderately insane. It doesn't matter if I'm armed with LP3 or not.. that can't even save my sanity, never mind contribute to the fabrication of any creative epiphanies.

So here I go, doing it my way today.
With my tools of the trade:

the Decapitated Hannah Montana Guitar:

My favorite serious bizniss station:

Dah bunny:

Miscellaneous nourishment:

And of course, the actual tools.

!!!

Here I go,
here I go.

Screenshot Blog.

2009-05-01T18:28:00.000-07:00

A Preview of What's to Come.

2009-04-30T21:19:00.000-07:00

Breezy.

2009-04-28T12:51:00.000-07:00

I loaded up some film in the Rebel because today is too nice for sitting around and wasting time.

I could really use some nice weather and silence after this weekend.

I can feel the lethargy taking over.
Whatever virus is inhabiting me right now is getting nice and comfortable.

College Life and the Death of Decency.

2009-04-27T09:08:00.000-07:00

I attended UConn's infamous Spring Weekend two days ago, and I saw lots (and undoubtedly too much) of the below:

Gluttony
Disrespect
Stealing
Things being glorified that in no way should be
Betrayal
Selfishness
Blatant disregard for.. well, everything
Exploitation of others
Stupidity in its purest form
and last but not least,
Excessive promiscuity (including but not limited to selling yourself out for something).

That entire night made me lose so much faith in humanity.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for hanging out and drinking with some friends, given that they're all responsible about it. But when it gets to the point that you're actions are easily characterized by not just one or two - but ALL of those things I mentioned up there, you should be fucking ashamed of yourself.

My ideal good time doesn't involve being in a parking lot at night surrounded by state troopers, policemen and German Shepherds, lit up by the most depressing fucking streetlamps of all time, full of broken glass and people who are drinking to the point of near-coma chanting "show your tits," and then eventually being bombarded with tear gas.

I am genuinely disgusted by the events of Saturday night.

'College life' these days is a fiiine specimen of the cancer that is eating away at our souls.
It trashily displays the death of our decency through Facebook photos, STDs and alcohol poisoning.

Quickies. Two of Them.

2009-04-22T15:14:00.000-07:00

I have to leave for CCSU in a hot minute.
But before then, I must share two pictures with you (lickety split-like, of course).

SCRUNCHIES!

Good for wearing with little girls' one-piece bathing suits, and also very helpful during oral sex.
As this ad suggests.
Ohh, the dumb sexiness of American Apparel ads.

NICE 'DAR!

It doesn't even matter where in Connecticut I have to go. I am going to be rained on relentlessly.

Houndstooth Umbrellas.

2009-04-22T13:37:00.000-07:00

There's one in my car.

Too bad I don't have it on me because, uh..

it's fucking pouring.

But seriously.

delugeXcore.

I'm supposed to drive to New Britain in this shit?

I'll just sit here in the good ol' NCC Mac lab for a bit and pretend like it's going to lighten up soon.

2.6.06 vs 4.17.09

2009-04-21T22:44:00.000-07:00

2.6.06

4.17.09

(Nice, Amber! Way to have the same hair for 3 fuckin' years.
Be done with the emo bangs, already.
And get rid of that snarl.)

(And the third person.. ?)

P.S.--
MUSIC! : I know I'm 2 years behind, BUT I've been obsessing over Ratatat Remixes Vol. 2 like crazy for the past 24 hours. Especially "Party and Bullshit." Listen to it heeeeeeere!

Dis Shit Is Bananas?

2009-04-20T14:45:00.000-07:00

Quite the weekend?
Quite the weekend.

It was lots of driving, lots of Nils, a good amount of Johns (yes.. several Johns), tiny bits of the Mount Gay, and some delicious subs.

Oh yeah, and I saw of Montreal last night.
And was mere feet away from Kevin Barnes' mostly naked torso.
Bout that.
(He looked glorious.)

My Friday and Saturday consisted of working at the good ol' Griff.
Never thought I'd genuinely like any of the random jobs that I'd have to do to solely get by..
but I've found some unforeseen peace of mind at that golf course, even though I have to get up at 5:30 in the morning to be there.
And I'm starting to really like being up that early..
But that's a whole 'nother story (or blog?).

Friday was also bail-on-the-Streetlight-show-at-Purchase-because-I'm-seeing-them-at-Central-next-week-anyway-and-eat-subs-and-do-stupid-shit-with-Anders day. My last entry was a part of that.
Along with this video:

Saturday was lovely, really.
Anders and I were "brought up to speed" (harhar) on the way up to UConn by my dearest Mr. John Wetmore, and later hung with the rest of the Club 118 crew. We spoke of photo boof and transformation porn while indulging in only the finest of beverages. Only they were almost the least finest of beverages, but not quite.

Oh yeah! And watched Event Horizon.
I only caught the end of it, but it was pretty fucked up from what I saw while dozing in and out of sleep on an air mattress that was inches in front of the TV.
John Diener and Pete did some amazing over-dubs of the first 5 minutes of it while it was muted, and it was probably the most amazing dubbing I've heard in my lifetime.

"Ping.. ping.. ping.."
(That's the sound of things bouncing off of metal in zero gravity.)

My weekend came to a close with the of Montreal show, but preceeding that A.N. Pierson showed me the sights(?) around New Britain. One of them being the epic-est fucking obelisk I have ever seen. Evar.

But now my friends.. I'm off to hang with the Giuli.

THE GIULI.

ANDERS v. RAMBO.

2009-04-17T20:03:00.000-07:00

Andsbo?

aa+d Final Drafts, Darlings.

2009-04-15T11:18:00.000-07:00

Here's what I submitted today for the aa+d poster assignment for both of my classes (the first one was done in Adobe Photoshop and the second one in Illustrator). They're nothing crazy.. like I've said, I'm all about simplicity in designing shit. And text.

<3 <3 <3 text.

Feedback? Feedback?

The First Prints.

2009-04-14T14:08:00.000-07:00

Got back the pictures from my first 2 rolls with the Rebel, and aside from a lot of blurry shots (due to some weird shit going on with the flash), I'm really happy with the image quality.

Here's two of my favorite shots so far:
(click to enlaarrggee, bitches.)

I'll get the flash fixed up, then I'll be hot to trot.

OH yeaaah. Mmmm.

(NOTE: Anders is not dead.)

I can see it all. All of it.

2009-04-10T11:03:00.000-07:00

The Phantom of the Office is my favorite character of all time.

HE COULD BE YOURS.

If you give him a chance.

Poster Do-Over.

2009-04-07T18:21:00.000-07:00

I took it in a completely different direction.
I'm liking this one better.

[In Lust with] An Inanimate Object.

2009-04-06T21:10:00.000-07:00

Mmm yeahh, check this lady out.

Got me a Canon EOS RebelG SLR.
My first SLR ever.
Picked her up today at the Goodwill in Stamford for 30 bucks.
THAT'S RIGHT.
30 dollars.

I kid you not.

& though I don't know much about film cameras,
we are going to learn together.
Me and my new woman.

& uhh, I have 2 days to find out if she actually works
before I can return her.
If I have to.
I'm hope hope hoping that's not the case,

because I am in love.

IN LOVE, I TELL YOU.

Still The Wanting Comes In Waves.

2009-04-03T14:24:00.000-07:00

Fuck Pitchfork.

This album is so phenomenal that it brings me near to tears every time I listen to it.

Hear! : The Hazards of Love 1 (The Prittiest Whistles Won't Wrestle the Thistles Undone)

5.6 out of 10, my ass.

:)!

I've Been Rapping For About 17 Years, Okay..

2009-04-01T14:52:00.000-07:00

I'm on a big Ratatat kick right now.
I haven't been wanting to listen to songs with words.

I think I'm straight up sick of hearing words.

And saying them.

Their albums have cool art, too.

While on the topic of art stuff..
I'm currently working on a cool assignment for my Illustrator class.
It's a poster for the Art, Architecture and Design show at my school.
There's an actual contest for this thing, so I'll try my goddamn hardest to make this poster sexy as hell (because that would be pretty sweet.. and the monies wouldn't hurt). Here's what I have so far:

I'm all about text.

A lot of the kids in my class are doing stuff like, "WHOA! CRAZY EFFECTS!!" but I'm not a fan. I'm kinda all about that simplicity, all around.

(Note: this is nowhere near done. There's a bazillion things I wanna change about it. But this is the basic gist, ya know? I'm still new at this shit.)

Another thing! Oh, yes!
This is going to be the last entry I write in this here Blogger composition box.
Yes sir.
I've been feeling as if my entries are incredibly lacking in meaningful content,
which is not what I want for a blog of mine to have a shortage of.
It must represent me to my fullest potential as a writer.

So, from now on, I write by hand.
And it'll make it up here after I've beaten the shit out of it to make sure it's the best it can be.

You dig?

I'm done.
(for today.)

Star Wars Dub.

2009-03-31T16:02:00.000-07:00

This shit is hilarious.
(This is by the guy who does all the Billy Mays dubs.)

2009-03-30T17:59:00.000-07:00

Thursday.

Friday.

Saturday.

Sunday.

Monday.

2009-03-25T21:01:00.001-07:00

I wanna bring classy back.

Teethburgers.

2009-03-22T17:50:00.000-07:00

I am done with fast food.
Seriously.
Fuckin' done.

That is honestly all I've eaten for the past 4 days.
And I feel disgusting.
I am poisoning the shit out of myself.

Not to mention, a friend of mine found a tooth in his burger.
That's right, a fucking tooth.
What kind of animal (OR HUMAN) it belongs to,

no one knows.

Where did this go down, you ask?
At this place.

I'm relieved I got the grilled cheese.

And! I got a 300 dollar speeding ticket.

Great!

Because I don't have 9 grand to get together for school or anything.

I did get a new phone though, kinda against my will.
Not too thrilled about it.
My good ol' dated-ass Sony Ericsson was perfectly fine, but my family wanted to switch networks to Verizon so I had to get something else.
I snagged a Blackberry Pearl because it was free.
I might switch it out for something normal with less bullshit.

All I need to do is call people with it.

Not sure if this thing is worth the extra money monthly.
The buttons are real tiny and the scrolly wheel is kinda annoying, but I'll give it a chance.
It's got a nice camera on it and a USB connection.
So, maybe.

It is quite tasty.

Enough being cranky.
Time for sleeeeep.

Spring break is over :(

"There ain't no use in locking doors,

2009-03-18T20:23:00.001-07:00

There's one of me in every home."

Some New Vinyl.

2009-03-17T10:21:00.000-07:00

I snagged Justice's Waters of Nazareth EP on vinyl the other day for 4 bucks at Newbury Comics.
Sweet deaal.

I've been real into album art lately, and on vinyl the art is just so awesomely huuge.. you can really see all the detail and can appreciate the design way more.
.
Not to mention, Justice got that ill style.

Someday I'll make some sick shit like that.
Someday.

Fuck You, Facebook.

2009-03-16T21:28:00.000-07:00

This is what it does to you when you go to deactivate your account.
(Click that picture. Holy shit.)

What the fuck?! A guilt trip?! Are you serious?
Like it's the only way my "152 friends will no longer be able to keep in touch" with me?
The world will end? I will lose everyone near and dear to me?
Giuliana is my fucking next door neighbor.

They can eat a dick. Because I am angry.

We Will Not Be Lulled Into Sleep!

2009-03-13T09:53:00.001-07:00

This week could really go anywhere.

I got semi-fired yesterday.

I'm on spring break.

I just slept for 15 hours.

I've been invited to run away to Vermont for the weekend.

I'm probably in danger of failing a class or two already.

I'm supposed to have band practice an hour and a half away tomorrow morning.

I think something is very wrong with my car.

I have to go to Central to secure my housing situation for school.

I'm very broke.

I gotta find money to pay for college next semester, somehow.
80 bucks a week (which is what I'm now reduced to) isn't gonna cut it.

All I can do right now is listen to Erik Petersen, hang out with bunny
and try to not think too hard.

Erik Petersen's music is one of the few things I can handle while on the verge of something horrible. That, my family and my birdies are the three things that give me ties to my purpose, something I lose sight of way more often than I should. I barely see it anymore unless I look really closely and carefully.

We are painting the walls,
Making jokes out of laws,
Hiding sleeping pills under our tongues.
Shut the light, close the door
We spit them to the floor
Then we're humming and strumming and a’ banging on drums.

What did you know when you said we are wasting away?
How could you say?

We will not be lulled into slumber by you,
We will not be lulled into sleep.
For we've had a taste of this wondrous place
And its treasures we intend to keep.

Nostalgia and Hand Bells.

2009-03-11T09:32:00.000-07:00

Took the little sisters to their first concert last night (yes, on a god damn school night.. +2 badass) at Toad's Place in New Haven.

Twas my two sisters Steph and Becca, a hoard of friends of mine who simply had nothing better to do that night, and myself.. and it was quite a time.

We saw OkGo, my indie/pop/rock guilty pleasure that I have kept near and dear to me since.. what, 7th grade? That song "Get Over It" came out in 2002? Gwaaat?!

Fuck, that's way longer than I thought.

Anyway.

They have stayed true to their indie pop charm over the years and their Pixie-ness was definitely showing during the show. The fact that they haven't released and album since 2005 and there are still people real into them just goes to show how well their music has been holding up over time. I think that's great, because 95% of the bands that were big from '01 to '06 are already dead (fortunately), while OkGo still fills up Toad's on a Tuesday.

New music these days is old in a few weeks.
Has anyone else noticed that?
It's sad.

Artists are too concerned with making something extra fucking catchy that will consume and distract you only long enough for them to come out with another one right before you get sick of the first.

The fact that OkGo has been going strong for 7 years now without a new release in 4 is fuckin awesome. They did it right the first time.

I even liked the new shit they played, which is something I can almost never say about other shows I've been to where the bands whip out unreleased shit (Against Me! was a bust).

The highlight of their performance was undoubtedly when they played "What to Do."

Because it was on fucking hand bells.

Ahh.
Felt like seventh grade all over again.

(This is probably the only case where that is, in fact, a good thing.)

I'm actually going to try and find an mp3 version of this.
It's surprisingly really well done.

Goood shit.

P.S. Awesome Song Alertzzszsz: Amsterdam - Peter Bjorn and John

Uneasy.

2009-03-09T10:01:00.000-07:00

I feel disgusting this morning.
I had a terrible dream about a complicated situation that I'm currently in,
and I woke up feeling reeeaaally weird.
On top of that, I managed to twist the shit out of my arm in my sleep and it hurts like a motherfucker.. I think I pulled something in it.
And it's my left arm. Which is my dominant driving arm.
My right one can't handle it.
There is no fuckin way I'm gonna be able to drive like this.
Soo, there goes class today.
My first one, at least.
I guess I'll see how I feel by 11.

That dream was just strange.

But it's my Dad's birthday today,
maybe we'll do something cool so I can shake this weirdness.

Uke Time.

2009-03-07T18:38:00.001-08:00

I am currently sitting in Max's bed.
In his new apartment.
All by myself.
Playing his ukulele.
Attempting to teach myself some chords.
Partially buzzed.
Drinking a gatorade.

Yep.

Hate to be Cliche, but..

2009-03-06T15:21:00.000-08:00

Thank god it's Friday.

Work is done for the week.
Which is great.
Because I'm pretty sick of the paper cut torture.
I have so many.

I got one under my fucking fingernail today.

Do you know how painful that is?

If I had known in time to get my passport (aside from some other reasons)..
I'd be on my way to Montreal right now with some good (busking?) company.

I've been wanting to hit up Canada pretty badly for the past 3 years or so.
I doubt it's much of a culture-shock crossing that particular border,
but I'm quite curious.

And wouldn't mind drinking legally for a weekend.
Just for shits and giggles.

Tomorrow I'm going to go check out Max's new apartment that I really want to see.
And hanging with a few chaps I haven't chilled with in a while.

Should be nice.

And the weather isn't supposed to be to shabby,
rumor has it.

Ahhhh, my large lunch and Arcade Fire are making me sleeepy.

Need caffeine-- STAT.

Gotta work on my Illlustrator homework.
And my Photoshop homework.
And math homework.
And study for my math test.
And my psych homework.
And study for my psych test.

BOOOOOMM!

I exploded.

Portraits.

2009-03-05T12:32:00.000-08:00

They are my favorite type of pictures to take.
Here are a few.

Diener.

Max.

Vince.

Anders.

Me.

A Spam Email I Recieved Today.

2009-03-04T17:52:00.000-08:00

"Indeed, the familiar class action suit steals pencils from the girl scout.
A ski lodge negotiates a prenuptial agreement with a stovepipe,
because a ski lodge trades baseball cards with the chestnut related to a skyscraper.
For example, a freight train defined by a food stamp
indicates that an apartment building almost teaches a pompous squid.
A bottle of beer trembles,
or a barely cosmopolitan industrial complex throws the submarine at a fractured paper napkin. Indeed, a pork chop defined by the razor blade makes a truce with a pork chop of the briar patch."

Who writes this shit?
And how can I get in contact with them?

SIDE NOTE:
WestConn called..
I got into that school, too.
Ohhh, what to do.

Shankhill Butchers.

2009-03-04T10:14:00.000-08:00

I actually made an effort to get my ass up and go to school today.
And I ended up getting stuck in traffic between exits 9 and 11 for 20 minutes (it normally taking 3 or 4 to get through) because they closed the left lane for construction.
Shit.
For all the times in my life I've lied and used traffic as an excuse for being late,
it finally happened.

Oh, karma.

I walked into math 15 minutes late but I caught up pretty quickly.
All we've been doing is review from last semester.
One whole fuckin month of review.

Since my acceptance to Central I've been extra lazy about my classes at NCC.
They technically don't matter, credit-wise.
But I do actually want to learn those things.

So I should "get my head in the game," as Troy Bolton would say.

But, anyway.
What I really want to write about.

While driving home from school earlier, the shuffle on my iPod came across the song Shankhill Butchers by none other than The Decemberists.

In the past few months, I've been loading up my pod with as much new shit as I could dump into it from various friends' iTunes libraries.
So much so that I started forgetting what I had..
until I'd rediscover it while on shuffle.

But this song, holy shit.

The Decemberists have an amazing knack for portraying a chilling darkness through their music. Yes, they do have plenty of cheery springtime songs, but I feel a much deeper connection to the extra-twisted stories they tell.
Sick, maybe.
But I like it like that.

Along with the Mariner's Revenge Song (from the album Picaresque) and The Rake's Song (from their new album The Hazards of Love coming out on the 24th.. listen to & read more about that even sicker song in Max's blog), Shankhill Butchers contains Colin Meloy's incredible 19th century-esque voice with a backing band that is equally powerful and seemingly brought back from the same time period.

The imagery is quite terrifying, yet if you didn't listen to the words very closely you'd barely notice because it's sung quite pleasantly, though there is a not so slight ominous undertone.

The Shankhill butchers ride tonight
You better shut your windows tight
They're sharpening their cleavers and their knives
And taking all their whiskey by the pint

They used to be just like me and you
They used to be sweet little boys
But something went horribly askew
Now killing is their only source of joy
'Cause everybody knows..

This song is based on actual events, unfortunately.

The Shankhill butchers were a loyalist group in Northern Ireland in the 70's whose "chief notoriety came from late-night abduction, torture and killings (by throat slashing) of random members of the Roman Catholic community," as Wikipedia so lovingly describes it.

The Decemberists really have a way of making depressing, twisted, violent and ever-so-haunting stories impossible to not listen to all the way through.

The way they're composed is almost addicting.. I honestly couldn't turn my car off until the song was over because I needed to hear the entire thing to the end.

The Crane Wife is a phenominal album.
It really really is.

Give this shit a listen: